


To Catch A Thief

by AdventurousScientist (Tuiteyfruity)



Series: Mystic Woods [2]
Category: Enchanted Forest Chronicles - Patricia Wrede, Original Work
Genre: Fantasy, Fantasy Adventure, Gen, Mind the Tags, Non-sexual vore, Soft Vore, fairytale, giant tiny - Freeform, gianttiny, gt vore, safe vore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22456900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tuiteyfruity/pseuds/AdventurousScientist
Summary: THIS IS ACTUALLY "CHAPTER 1" of "IN WHICH THERE ARE THIEVES" but it's REALLY IMPORTANT and takes place at a specific time in the Mystic Woods timeline so it gets it's own whole story.The rest of the Thief Stories: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21709996/chapters/51784420
Series: Mystic Woods [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563316
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	To Catch A Thief

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time Yonah ever catches a thief! The first time he ever eats someone! How exciting! [PLEASE MIND THE WARNINGS ON THIS ONE]
> 
> Yonah (the “evil” giant wizard) deals with thieves on a regular basis. They are rather a nuisance but they do taste good!
> 
> Almost every encounter with a thief follows a pattern: 1) Thief breaks in to the tower. 2) Yonah catches and eats the thief. 3) Yonah releases the thief and if they accept it, gives them some money for their trouble.
> 
> “In Which There Are Thieves” are a collection of stories that follow that pattern, but each is unique!
> 
> *Content warnings:  
> THE THIEF LIVES. THAT IS NEVER IN QUESTION! Do not worry! But there is very very mild dige.stion-ish stuff (spoilers: Yonah tests how long he can safely keep someone in his stomach Without hurting them, you know, for future reference. The thief ends up with a bad rash/skin irritation. I do not even describe it in any more detail than that! And good thing Yonah has some aloe plants! Woop!)
> 
> Enjoy!

Finally.

It had taken all month but he had completely moved into the tower. Not that he had many worldly possessions. Beyond clothing, books, and spell components he had very few. Other than some magical instruments and artifacts that hadn’t been confiscated.

As always his size was a problem.

The tower had previously belonged to a sorcerer who had either fled or been killed by some adventurer. A sorcerer who was human.

Yonah was not human. He was Half-Giant.

And that made things complicated. One could easily acquire furniture for humans. One could easily acquire furniture for giants. No one made such things for half-giants. All of it had to be specially ordered. The tricky things were the alchemy benches and tools, and a few of the more intricate cooking utensils. Getting all that shit inside was another hassle; there was only one entrance and it was a small window 15 meters off the ground.

That had to be enchanted so large objects could fit through.

In fact, the entire tower needed enchanting.

The damn thing was a maze of floors and rooms. The long winding stairs led to the Main Room of each floor. If you thought about the floor you wanted to go to, that would be the floor immediately above or below where you entered. From those rooms you could access other rooms through doors. These would not move conveniently to you. Some rooms you had to know about to access from the staircase itself, appearing mysterious doors along the wall.

The staircase and each room had to be separately enlarged to fit his unusual scale. Layering an enlarge spell on top of existing spells for the staircase and the one that was used to fit all the rooms in the tower had taken a long time. Making sure the spells didn’t interfere or mesh improperly was a difficult and delicate task. Yonah had slept outside for the first two weeks as he developed the enchantment and then began the process of applying it to each room as he found them.

Yonah knew for sure he had not come close to finding all the rooms, and was not confident that he had even found all the Main Rooms. But he had a workshop, a kitchen, a bedroom, and thank the gods, a lavatory. That one had been tricky; it existed as one of the rooms accessible from the staircase, appearing as a non-descript wooden door. Getting the enlarging enchantment to cooperate with the moving target was incredibly complicated but he had done it!

That was another reason it took so long. He had to do this all by himself. Normally inventing and finageling enchantments was something Yonah enjoyed! It was why he was a wizard after all! But when the slow development process stood between him and a roof over his head it sucked. A lot.

It would have gone so much quicker if his friends had been allowed to come and help. But no. He had been shipped out to the forest and dropped in this unkempt trash heap of a clearing all alone. Was told he could not go further than 3km from the tower or there would be “consequences”. His friends didn’t even know where he was. He didn’t know where he was.

The Mystic Woods. That’s where.

And the woods were constantly shifting. Just beyond the tree line around the clearing could be anything and anywhere in the forest at any given time! As far as moving targets were concerned he was an electron around the nucleus of an atom.

And while his magic mirror could call the castle, as the Wood’s Sword resided there, it couldn’t seem to find anything else. Inside or outside of the forest. Except for his parents, because of emotional bonds or something. He had called them crying more than a few nights.

At least they had given him a magic pot so that he didn’t starve since he had no kitchen, no garden, no nothing. And he certainly wasn’t about to chance hunting in the mysterious, legendarily dangerous magical forest. Not yet.

Oh! And the pot only produced luke warm gruel. That was fun!

ANYWAYS! The point of all this exposition is to make it clear what a terrible, terrible month Yonah had moving to his new prison. Almost as if it was part of his punishment.

Which is why it was with such indescribable joy and delicious victory Yonah finally got to break in his new kitchen!

Growing up in a house with a giant for a mother, everything had been too big. Hard to use a knife that’s the size of a sword. And even after acquiring custom sized tools, the kitchen itself was still too large.

In school he would often use the student kitchen with his friends. Of course since he was nearly 2.5 meters tall it was still awkwardly small. He couldn’t prepare food in any sort of quantity that would come close to a meal. Mostly he honed the craft; much to his friends’ delight. 

He never thought he could consider this tower a home. It was a prison after all.

Yet… with his kitchen. A kitchen that was his. All his! And everything was the right size too. All the spoons, all the knives, all the cutting boards, bowls, pots, pans, whisks, the oven, the stove! Everything was perfect.

The pièce de résistance was The Pantry. Since he could not stray very far from his tower it would be very hard for him to get food. So the King instructed him to install a magical pantry. He simply placed list of items he wanted on a shelf and within a day, and within reason, his requests would be fulfilled. It was all he could do not to cry into the pan as he stirred and the mixture of vegetables, buckwheat, and meats in a rich tangy sauce.

Cooking was its own magic, one for all the senses.

A pot of soup was happily boiling, the pan was sizzling with glee. The air was full of savory vapors like spirits of flavor flying around the room. The oven spread its warmth to the whole tower as a fresh loaf of olive bread grew within.

Had he ever been happy before in his life? As he threw on generous pinch of paprika he didn’t think so.

Until he sat down at the table to eat.

Until he found himself unable to eat.

His glasses fogged up. It was all pointless!

All this preparation.

For just one person.

Gloom found its way into his stomach, taking up residence and pushing out his appetite. 

Working so hard in the last month had kept his mind and body occupied. Distracted. But now that was over. He had a grand tower to fill with magical and wonder; but he was alone.

Or was he.

He had given up trying to eat and was cleaning up. All the food could be stored. It might not be as fresh in the morning but it wouldn’t go to waste. He just needed a good night’s sleep and he would feel a bit better.

As he placed a washed pan on a hook to dry he saw movement from the corner of his eye. He turned his head so fast he almost pulled a muscle.

A human, frozen mid step, was staring unblinkingly back at him. He cocked his head at them.

What was a human doing here?

They were quivering, looking like they were about to shit themselves. They had a rather full bag slung across their back.

“Ehhh” Yonah was sure he was supposed to say something here. What was it again?

The human ran. They ran to the edge of the counter, where a grappling hook and rope hung and they repelled down at an astonishing speed.

Oh shit! He fucked up!

“AH! Hold on!” he shouted and stumbled over his robes. Tumbled head over heels.

When he stopped seeing stars and got up the human was gone. But they could not have gotten far. He ran to the stairway. If the human had any sense, they would be climbing up the stairs, but they weren’t. They were nowhere to be seen.

Something scratched at the back of his mind. There was something he was supposed to do here. His heart was racing and his head was spinning. He had to calm down, he had to think clearly! He stood up straight and closed his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose.

No ideas came to him but the scent of the human did. And it came from downstairs. Clever. It was quicker to leap down the stairs than to climb up.

He breathed in more of the scent, the tantalizing, distinct scent. All his woes were forgotten. The chase was on!

Still breathing through his nose he made his way down the stairs. His eyes and ears ready to pinpoint the human’s location as his nose led him to them.

It led him into the sitting room. Or what was going to be the sitting room once all the furniture was delivered. Right now it had a single bookshelf tragically lacking in books, a hastily made wooden rocking chair, and a fireplace that desperately needed cleaning out.

Wait a second. Of the five giant-sized books on the shelf, he had not placed any of them so that their covers faced outward! What a sad attempt at creating a hiding place. He strode confidently to the book shelf and tossed the book aside.

There was no human behind it.

He turned around and his foot hit something. Something that squealed. 

The human rolled across the floor and Yonah winced, but they gracefully came out of it into a run. Towards the stairs again.

But this time Yonah did not trip as he lunged, scooping up the human before they even got into the hallway.

“Ah ha! Ahaha! I got you!” He laughed stood up with the squirming human in his hands. He looked down at them with excitement shining in his eyes and a stupid grin plastered on his face.

“Who are you!?” he demanded, “and what are you doing in my tower?”

The human looked confused but answered “I’m Jack… and I’m… ESCAPING! TAKE THAT!”

“YEOWCH!”

A terrible pain coursed through his hand and he dropped the human.

A dagger stuck out of the back of his left hand and he plucked it out. Blood trickled out, it wasn’t a deep wound. The roots of his hair started to grow hot. He looked down, the human should be at his feet with a broken back but there was no human! He looked to the stairs and there they were, making their way up.

Jack?

Holy shit! A thief! His first thief! Wait, did he even have anything worth stealing? Fuck! He needed to catch that human.

Oh OH!!! In that moment he remembered what he was supposed to do! If there had been anyone to see him, he would have smacked himself in the head dramatically. But there was no need. With renewed confidence he entered the stairway and looked up at the human who gave him a split second glance before continuing to climb.

Making no attempt to go after the thief Yonah took out his staff and a deep breath putting a little magic into his voice. Then he bellowed into the chamber:

“FEE FI FO FUM! I SMELL THE BLOOD OF THE HUMAN KIND! IT MATTERS NOT THE THINGS YOU STOLE, I’LL CAPTURE YOU AND SWALLOW YOU WHOLE!

The entire tower shook with the force of his voice and the human fell off the step they were climbing up, falling right into Yonah’s hands. As they trembled with the remnants of sound Yonah removed any other weapon he could find on their person before taking them upstairs to his workshop. Not much; a sword and a few throwing knives. He took the bag too, placing it in his hat.

Now that he had caught the human the adrenaline was wearing off. And he was at a loss. He sat down at his desk. 

Mind. Blank.

The giant stared at them with a confounding mixture of triumph and confusion. Or at least, Jack assumed this was a giant. He was much too small and looked way too human. It was uncomfortable how human this… thing looked. And they could have sworn his hair was glowing a minute ago.

“Let me go!” Jack shouted.

Yonah shook his head, coming out of his stupor and looked into the human’s eyes. “Is that what I’m supposed to do?” that didn’t sound right to him at all.

It was Jack’s turn to be confused, but they weren’t going to waste this kind of opportunity, “Yep! Now that you got your shit back you can let me go!”

Yonah narrowed his eyes. “I think you’re fucking with me. But I’m em, I’m kinda new to this whole, Evil Giant thing…”

Not only did this giant look super odd it was a new to catching thieves!? They had stolen from over a dozen giants, and a few dragons, and had never been caught. And this NEW GUY CAUGHT THEM!? How the FUCK did this happen.

The giant wasn’t looking at them anymore, but neither did he loosen his grip. He was giving his attention to the mirror on the table, which he touched with his pointer finger.

“Mirror mirror on the desk, um, no… that wasn’t it”

“Mirror mirror with with golden trim, contact those of my closest kin!”

The mirror went cloudy before resolving into a face.

Now that was what a giant looked like! Grey-ish skin, bald, large pointed ears, dark black eyes. And the giant was staring kindly but concerned at the not quite a giant.

“Yonah dear! What is it? Are you alright?” she said. 

“Eh, Hi mom. Yeah I’m fine. Finally finished moving in.”

The not-giant’s face was starting to turn a bit red. And no wonder.

HE CALLED HIS MOTHER!? What the fuck was going on. Did this guy have so little experience he needed to call his godsdammed MOM?

“That’s wonderful! Your father and I are so proud of you, you know that! Remember, being an Evil Mage in a tower is a proper and respectable position!”

“I know mom, you tell me that every time I call.”

“Is that Yonah?” shouted a voice out of frame. The giant bent down and when she stood back up she was placing a human man on her shoulder. A human with wild red hair dressed in a dashing black and orange ensemble. Jack was starting to put the pieces together.

“So you’ve settled in? No more sleeping outside?” the man asked. Yonah answered in the affirmative.

“Hey! Half-breed! Aren’t you going to introduce me?” Jack spat.

“Yonah, what was that?” his mother asked. Looking around intently.

“Right, that’s why I called. Look!” he held Jack in front of the mirror. “I caught a thief.

The giant looked positively giddy and Jack did not like that one bit. They did not like being shown off like a new toy. The man just chuckled.

“But, I” Yonah took a deep breath, “I don’t know what to do now.”

The giant put a hand under her chin, “Hmm you did the shout?”

“Yes, fee fi fo– blah blah swallow you who- wait!” Yonah’s eyes grew wide and he smiled a feral smile, the giant and the human mirrored it.

Jack’s heart sank. Oh boy.

“I’m supposed to eat them!”

As he said those words his mouth started to water and his stomach rumbled as it remembered the abandoned dinner. But… is that what he should do? His doubt must have appeared on his face as his mother spoke up.

“Well, it’s certainly standard,” she said, “but I understand if being half human makes this uncomfortable. Of course, you can always eat them and still let them go.”

Eat them… and let them go?

Eat them! AND let them go!

He had forgotten about that option. Yonah very much wanted to eat someone, and eat them alive; It was something he wanted to experience for a while now. The thing was, while this human probably wouldn’t be missed by anyone if he killed them, feeling someone, a whole ass person, die inside of him wasn’t something he was keen on experiencing. At his size he was sure to feel every moment of the human’s demise.

Maybe if he had caught a slayer. Someone who had intended to kill him. He might feel differently. This wasn’t a slayer, it was a common thief. Yonah wasn’t sure he was ready to be a proper Evil Giant, killing anyone who dared trespass on his domain. No, at 21 years old he definitely wasn’t ready for that.

Jack cringed as the half-giant, Yonah, swallowed what had to be liters of drool at the thought of eating them.

“What do you think dad?”

“hm, well if it were me, and a thief tried to get away with some of my precious spell books I would incinerate them on the spot!” said the Dad.

Jack liked that even worse. Was there no solidarity between small folk!?

“Emmett!” The giant flicked her tiny husband, “You’ve never incinerated anyone in your life!”

“Never met anyone worth incinerating, but thieves who steal from my son are certainly getting close!” he said.

“I’m… not going to incinerate them, dad. I’m not a dragon fighting a knight ”

“No but you’re my little fireball! And Always will be!” for dramatic effect he let his hair become fire. The giant rolled her eyes.

“Dad! You’re embarrassing me in front of the thief!”

Jack was embarrassed too. This was the most awkward situation they had ever been in, and it was likely the last situation they would ever be in! Because the half-giant had gotten extremely excited when his mother suggested eating them. Eaten by a rookie. What a fucking inglorious way to go!

“We’ll get out of your hair then, but call again soon!

‘Goodbyes’ and ‘I love yous’ were exchanged and the mirror reflected Yonah and Jack once more.

The half-giant toyed with Jack in his hands, much to Jack’s distress. He brought the thief to his face and pressed his nose to the human’s midsection, breathing in the scent. Jack had gotten their hands free and shoved at his face, cursing at him. Yonah reciprocated by clicking his teeth at Jack’s hands.

Jack screamed.

Yonah laughed.

“Calm down, I’m not even eating you… yet.”

Jack scowled, “Well what the fuck are you waiting for? Your fucking mommy said it was ok. Gods! You’re pathetic! Calling your mommy for advice?”

“Keep insulting me and I’ll definitely eat you.”

“Then eat me! Get it over with!” Jack screeched. But still the giant didn’t eat them. He just held them over the desk. The giant sighed and put his head down.

“Here’s the thing,” he looked back up “I- don’t know if I’m… allowed to eat you. Legally speaking. I cannot afford to break any more laws!”

This stunned Jack enough that their fear and anger momentarily went away. Legally speaking? Break more laws? What laws had this man broken?

He turned to the mirror again.

“Mirror, connect me to The King, Benyamin of Orr, by request of Yonah HaEsh.”

No rhyme? Wait he said the KING!

The mirror was grey for a long time. Yonah had Jack held in one hand again, with his other he drummed his fingers on the desk. Jack had since stopped trying to break his grip. Every so often Yonah would glance at him with hunger in his dark brown eyes, hunger that was not at all kept at bay by the massive spectacles.

Jack couldn’t believe their eyes when the face of The King of Orr appeared in the mirror. It was unmistakable, not many kings had forest green eyes with grass green irises. 

“That’s- that’s the” Jack stuttered quietly

“You’re Majesty,” Yonah bowed his head slightly. Jack did as well, even if The King couldn’t see them.

“This had better be important! Unless I’m calling you the direct line is for emergencies! Is this an emergency? Is the forest in imminent danger?”

To Jack’s gratification the giant’s face flushed. This was definitely not an emergency. The King scowled and if Jack had been the recipient of that they might have died on the spot. But the giant took it quite well, except he shook and thus Jack shook.

“Eh, N-No, sire.” Yonah said, his voice suddenly quiet.

Fear of the giant was replaced instantly by fear of The King who could make the giant cower and stutter.

“Then what is it!?” The King’s voice growing louder.

Yonah gathered himself, no more shaking. He was powerful, he was magical! The King was merciful and kind; he had nothing to fear. He held Jack up to the mirror again. The king studied Jack with disdain.

“And?”

“I caught a thief, you’re majesty.”

“Congratulations!” his voice drawled with well practiced sarcasm as he rolled his eyes, “Why are you bothering me with this?” The King had a hand on his face, completely done with this conversation and yet he didn’t hang up.

Jack was moved to the bottom of the frame.

“I- I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, your majesty,” Yonah’s voice was still a bit wobbly.

The King rubbed at his eyes, cursing under his breath before addressing Yonah.

“Oh dear gods. Did I hire an adult giant-wizard or a child?”

Yonah started “An adult, your majesty”

“Then you should be able to make a judgement call”

Yonah stared at him blankly. The King sighed, and asked softly but sternly “What do you think you’re supposed to do?”

“Eat them?”

The King threw up his arms in feigned victory “Huzzah! He stumbles upon the right answer! What a wise and brilliant giant wizard I have in my employment!”

No. That was the wrong answer! Jack thought but didn’t dare to speak. They were enjoying watching the.. Giant wizard… Get belittled by a human king. Though it was soured considerably by the fact that The King had just told the giant he was not only allowed to eat them, but was pretty much obligated to do so.

“But the law- I got in trouble for just um, living in your realm- Surely eating someone would be-”

The King put up a hand, “I think I understand your dilemma.”

“While I am the King of the Woods the Woods themselves are not part of the civilized lands of Orr. And while I protect the woods themselves, once someone enters the woods they understand that there are no laws protecting them from the dangers within. Dangers like yourself oh great and terrible fire giant.”

The King took a deep breath.

“Eat the thief if you want, or don’t. I really don’t give a fucking shit. And don’t bother me again unless it’s of real concern; I have secretaries for this exact purpose.”

“I will be sure to act accordingly-”

The King cut the feed.

“Your Majesty.” Yonah finished saying to nobody and looked at Jack who looked at him. Then Jack looked away.

Their fate had been sealed. The King had given this monster permission to do whatever he damn well pleased. Their days of adventuring for fun and profit were over. And for what! This giant had not had time to gather treasure yet. All they found were rare spices! Sure that stuff would fetch a pretty penny, but it wasn’t impressive.

Not that it mattered because they were about to be eaten! They were nothing but a meal to this giant wizard even after carrying on a conversation with him! How barbaric this world was. They had tried to lead a good life, a happy life, but circumstances had lead them to thievery. Adventuring was always risky, they knew this was a possibility, but they had hoped they could last a few more years at least?

After a few minutes lost in thought they realized they were still uneaten. The giant was still studying them.

Jack slapped the giant on the nose.

“Get it over with! Or let me go!”

Jack expected the giant to be angry and eat them, but he looked worried. That made Jack worry.

“I don’t know if I can.”

Jack threw their hands up in defeat “Of course you can! You mother said you can, the fucking magic King of the fucking forest said you can! What is left that makes you think you can’t!?”

The giant was shaking and Jack yelped in pain as the grip on their midsection tightened.

“What if I choke?”

“What?”

“I’m only half giant, what if I can’t swallow you and I choke, we could both die!”

That had not occurred to Jack. But if the giant was worried about it. All the better.

“Then don’t eat me.”

The giant looked them over one more time. Sizing them up, Jack realized.

“No… I’m definitely going to eat you,” he finally said, “It will be like an experiment.”

“Fine if it helps to think about it that way. I don’t know why I’m encouraging you when you’re deciding whether or not to kill me.”

The giant snorted and then laughed.

“What’s so fucking funny.”

The giant wiped a tear from his eyes, “I never said I was going to kill you!”

It was like the world didn’t make sense. Maybe this was a dream. The situation was certainly wacky enough. A half-giant fire person, talking to the king via magic mirrors. Stealing spices? It was all stupidly odd.

“Sorry for the mistake but what do you think happens when you EAT SOMEONE!”

“Didn’t you hear my mother?”

Nope still didn’t make sense. Even as exhausted as they were Jack resumed clawing and flailing. They wanted off this crazy ride.

“Hopefully I’ll be able to spit you back up before… You know… you die”

Jack froze.

“So…” They did not look at the giant, “You’re not going to kill me?”

“If all goes to plan, again I’ve never done this before.”

Jack steepled their fingers under their nose, “So if you fuck up badly, you suffocate on me and we both die. If you fuck up a little and can’t vomit me up I die.”

“Yep! Ready?”

“NO I’M NOT- FUCK!”

The more he dilly dallied the more likely he was to chicken out. So before the thief could finish their sentence, Yonah shoved the human’s torso into his mouth. It was a tough fit, his jaw was open as wide as it could possibly go. There was just enough room for him to still move his tongue and let a trickle of air through.

Mmmmm. Human taste good. Really good. He could feel the contours of the human’s face on his tongue. The human was sputtering curses in between being licked.

He started salivating heavily and his stomach rumbled; it demanded the human. While he wanted to keep tasting them, he could not deny the gnawing emptiness. He’d never been so hungry in his life. Of course, he hadn’t eaten all day. In the moment there was nothing he wanted more than to fill his belly with this human. The thief pushed against his teeth, elbowed his cheeks in a desperate attempt to get out. But Yonah was holding their waist and legs. It was tricky getting the thief to the back of his mouth since it was like shoving his own fist down his throat, but he did it. He took a deep breath through his nose and took his first swallow, pulling the screaming thief into his esophagus

A few things occurred simultaneously. 

1\. Yonah almost did choke. It was incredibly painful, the pressure inside his neck was horrible. The thief was trying to fight against him, wriggling the best they could when being crushed on all sides. 

2\. He could not breathe and he started to panic. 

And 3. he knew that if he kept swallowing, he could get the thief down. And he really wanted to get this human to his stomach. Yes it hurt but it felt good too. 

The thief’s torso was in his throat, but the rest was still in his mouth, and the legs still kicking in the air. He had to calm down, otherwise he might suffocate. Unable to breathe it was mind over matter. 

Yonah put a hand to his distended throat for steadiness and the pain aliviated just a bit, like his throat was relaxing, stretching naturally to accommodate this strange “meal”. Managing gentle swallows the thief was slowly dragged further into his body. 

He had to clutch his chest as the lump made its way down. More pressure, on his ribs, on his lungs, on his heart, but one that filled him with glee. The pounding of his heart fought against those of the human. With the last bit of the thief disappearing down his throat, clearing his airways, he felt something in his middle.

The scrambling of human’s hands! Yonah realized. Some of the human was already in his stomach, where there was space to move. And they were clawing uselessly at his innards while the rest of the body followed and filled the space entirely. 

–

It was worse than they could have imagined. Instantly they were soaked as they were forced into the giant’s mouth. Their arms and sides were jabbed against the teeth; if they survived this they were going to have some nasty bruises. With the amount of drool that flowed around them they must be pretty damn tasty. Pity.

Cool air rushed passed them as the giant drew breath, but said air wasn’t accessible to them. It was impossible to take a breath as the tongue brushed against their face, drenching them in hot spit that slagged off their face as the coughed, trying not to let it enter their own mouth.

Then gravity shifted and they braced themselves as they were pushed forward, to the back of the mouth, and down the throat.

Now they really couldn’t breath as they were completely encased in the muscled tube. Still wet, still unbearably hot. They could feel the wizard’s exclamations of pleasure. Gross. They squirmed; achieving nothing. If they didn’t have to hold their breath for dear life they would be shouting. Another massive squeeze and they were forced down deeper into the body of the giant.

A massive thunderous pounding pulsed through them, ringing in their ears and bones. They were right against the giant’s heart! And then they weren’t as they slipped further down. They tried again to flex their arms but the walls were like tough rubber.

Oh gods. Their feet were still in the giant’s mouth. They could move their ankles. And even as the fleshy walls pressed down on them they didn’t move with them.

Were they stuck!? Had the giant’s fear come to pass? Was this it for them both?

With a horrible gulping sound and the air nearly being pushed out of them, they were pulled down again.

Then their hands weren’t in contact with flesh anymore, they grasped at dense hot nothing.

Oh no. Their arms soon left the esophagus, followed by their head and they gasped at the putrid air. It was instinct that they scraped their nails against the folds of the walls, gathering handfuls of mucus.

This was the stomach. They had arrived.

Before their legs even entered the stomach their arms had reached the other side. They were pressed against the walls as the stomach stretched and the rest of them was forced inside, leaving little room for anything else.

First thing first they rolled about to get their face out of the puddle of fluid at the bottom of the stomach and into the pocket of air at the top. But other than that they could barely move. Not enough room to stretch out. Drawing up their knees to their chest they were able to feebly kick, which made a nauseating squelching sound. Sweltering and covered in unmentionable fluids they couldn’t feel their own tears running down their face.

They were well and truly eaten.

-

Wow, he felt full… really full. And really good! He had never felt this full or this good. The human continued to fight against him and every movement was immensely satisfying. He leaned back against his desk and stared at his ceiling but didn’t really see it.

“Gods you tasted so good!” He sighed heavily with immense satisfaction. The pain in his throat and chest was like a distance memory. 

The human’s flavor still clung to his lips and he drew his tongue across them. His fingers too. He licked them.

“I’m certainly NOT glad to hear it!”

Raising his eyebrows and looked down at his chest.

Yonah wasn’t a skinny man, but most of his girth was a little lower relative to where his stomach actually was. While it wasn’t a big difference, if someone was looking for it he was noticeably and just on the edge of uncannily full. That and the human’s movements created small tremors and occasionally the most minute dents, for just a moment. Just barely visible to someone watching from the outside. Which Yonah was, with avid fascination and delight.

He had not expected the thief to respond, nor for him to hear their voice so clearly. This was a whole new avenue of potential!

“How is it in there?” Yonah placed a hand gently over his stomach and could feel the human’s struggles underneath! Wild!

“TERRIBLE! It’s hot as fuck, everything is slimy, the air is rank and smells like death! I can’t see, and I’m being squashed”

Yonah thought about that for a second. “That makes sense. By the way your movements feel like the craziest massage!”

“Fan-fucking-tastic! Can you let me out now?” Jack demanded.

“Not just yet! I’m enjoying this.”

“Well I’m not!” The human was kicking and elbowing as best they could.

“Well I don’t care.”

“Fuck you!”

Yonah reached for the stopwatch on his desk and set it to 0, wound up and let it run. The gears ticked away cheerfully. “Just tell me when you start feeling any pain.”

He felt the thief freak out, jerking wildly at that statement.

“What! Why!?”

“Because that’s when I’ll let you out!”

Silence.

“Ok, I’m in pain right now!”

Yonah laughed, and the thief was shaken about as his chest was a veritable earthquake for his captive.

“No you’re not! Listen I need to know how long it’s safe! Experiment remember?”

“This sucks, this sucks so much.”

“Not for me! And keep struggling, it feels very nice!” Yonah said as cheerily as he could.

“Absolutely not!”

Jack kicked out one more time and stopped moving. If it wasn’t clear the thief was purposefully keeping as still as possible Yonah might’ve worried.

Instead Yonah poked at his stomach. It was still so crazy to him that he could feel the solid mass of the human under the muscle and fat.

There was a very forceful and concentrated pressure against their shoulder. The giant was trying to get them to move! What a jerk! They would not give their tormentor that satisfaction. The proding continued for about a minute until they heard and felt the giant heave a massive sigh. Jack smiled. They won that little stand-off.

The thief was serious about not moving. No matter. Yonah got up and retrieved a small vial from a cabinet. Sitting back down at his desk he rubbed at his stomach, pressing down and moving his fingers in circular manner. If the thief wouldn’t move for him, he could move the thief! It wasn’t exactly the same, but it achieved his goals. He heard the thief grumble.

After about 5 minutes he felt a sharp panicked movement.

“Hey mister wizard, my skin’s tingling and it’s starting to sting!”

Yonah sat up. Should he let them out now? He didn’t know if he’d recovered enough… his chest still throbbed and ached, and the fullness felt so good. 

“Starting? That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Doesnt- wha- the FUCK would you know? I’M THE ONE IN HERE!” The thief was panicking. Which, Yonah guiltily noted, felt really good. 

“How do I know you’re not just lying so I let you out sooner?” he said. The timer now at 6 minutes. The thief was sobbing now. 

“Please, I can’t take this anymore. I can’t believe I let you get my fucking hopes up! If I’d have known you’d planned to kill me I’d rather you’d have bitten my head off!”

“What?” that sounded horrible. 

“It HURTS you LYING MOTHERFUCKER!” Jack didn’t care anymore, their last moments were worthless now “I’m going to die slowly and painfully and IT’S YOUR FUCKING DOING. 

Some of the thief’s panic was spreading to Yonah. He was trembling. No. He wasn’t going to kill the thief. That was something he had made up his mind on before eating them. But to keep his promise he had to focus. 

Leaning his elbows on this desk he held his throbbing head. Focus. Calm. Focus. It was hard with the thief thrashing so much. 

7 minutes. Probably 8 since he did not start the timer right away. 

“ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?” the thief wailed, “These are my last moments you BASTARD” 

“I’m letting you out” He finally said. 

“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU”

That didn’t matter, the thief didn’t really have to do anything. 

Yonah stood up, one hand on his desk, the other over his stomach. He scrunched up his face in concentration and heaved, pressing in his gut.

Nothing.

He tried again, hacking and heaving even harder. After about 10 seconds he was panting from the effort, and the human was still in his stomach.

“Not that you care, but whatever you’re doing is just making it worse” Jack’s voice cracked, realizing they shouldn’t help the torture future victims. 

“FUCK!” 

Jack didn’t expect that response. Maybe he really was trying to throw up?

Yonah didn’t want it to come to this but it was a sure method.

He uncorked the vial of sulfur crystals and inhaled deeply.

Dizziness filled his brain and his vision blurred as his eyes stung and watered; then he coughed and gagged. 

Dropping to his knees he continued to gag; he held a hand to his stomach. He was trembling as waves of nausea rolled through him. The sensation of the thief being pushed back into his throat was extremely weird, and feeling him disappear under his hand was weirder. but the strangeness was masked by the pain. It was somehow worse coming back up. 

The lump traveled up his esophagus with each heave until it made it past his collarbone and cut off his airways again. He choked. Just like he feared! But the panicked hacking got the thief back to his mouth, the thief entered torso first and his heart jumped as tiny hands grasped at his teeth and tongue. Yonah stuck his fingers into his mouth and took hold of Jack’s hands, physically pulling them the rest of the way out, along with strings of saliva, stomach mucus, and other unknown fluids.

The thief was holding onto his hand for dear life and Yonah winced as he saw the rashy, blistering, blotchy red skin. They had been inside a little too long, but Jack was very much alive. But for future references, 7 minutes was definitely the maximum amount of time. Yonah sat back on his stool and shook his hand. The thief fell onto the desk in a pathetic heap.

“Ugh, that was decidedly unpleasant!”

The thief struggled to their feet and glared at him. They were shaking with renewed rage.

“Unpleasant!? UNPLEASANT?! You ATE ME, you started to DIGEST ME! You do NOT get to talk about how this was unpleasant! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT UNPLEASANT IS!”

A small part of Yonah felt bad for the thief. A small but big enough part to convince him to help. After a night of not knowing what to do, he knew exactly what Jack needed in this moment.

“Wait here,” he said, and Jack stared as the giant climbed out the window. The entire tower shook as he landed on the ground.

As if! They were getting out of here before the giant decided he was hungry enough to finish the job.

FUCK! The flesh on his hand throbbed and burned the moment he tried to grip the edge of the desk. It was so excruciating that they couldn’t think. They didn’t exist except for pain for a few seconds. They weren’t going anywhere.

They sat down and hugged their knees. The skin on skin contact hurt too. It was like the worst sunburn in the history of dragonkind (which is considerably longer than human).

The giant soon returned and was holding something in his right hand. He came over to the desk and with his left hand took something out of a pocket which he licked. Then held the desk with the same hand and said some strange words.

A gust of wind blew like a stinging sand storm over Jack and when it cleared the Wizard was pulled himself onto the desk. Human sized. Or nearly. He stood a good two heads taller than Jack. In his arms were… well they looked like plants. Three feet long, several inches thick, with serrated thorny edges. Almost like saws, but plants.

Jack scooched away from Yonah, wincing. Tears come to their eyes as their raw skin scraped on the wood. The wizard rolled his eyes as he stood next to Jack and set down all but one of the plants. With a fresh SNAP he broke it over his leg revealing a translucent goop inside.

The wizard knelt down and stuck his fingers into the leaf. He held out his hand as the substance oozed off. Jack just stared. They were not touching that!

Yonah rolled his eyes again and with no more ceremony he rubbed the goo onto Jack’s face. Jack pushed him away and frantically wiped the suspicious and likely magical plant slime from their face.

Their eyes went wide.

Where the slime made contact the pain dulled and in its place a soothing coolness took over. The wizard had taken another handful of slime from the leaf and Jack took it and rubbed it all over their arms. They took the whole leaf and scooped out all of the slime.

Yonah took another leaf and broke it open, handing it to Jack when they cleaned out the first one.

Soon Jack was covered head to toe in aloe and lay on the desk in sticky bliss. There was still a throbbing and faint tingling sensation, but it was much more bearable.

“Better?” Yonah asked, stand up and over Jack with his hands behind his back. He was genuinely invested in Jack’s wellbeing now.

Jack raised an arm and extended one finger.

“Fuck. You.”

Yeah, he deserved that. He returned to the pile of aloe leaves and broke each open, collecting the aloe into a small jar. Or what would be a small jar if he was his normal size, it held at least 200 liters. He managed to fill it a little more than half way.

He put a small handful of aloe into a bowl and walked over to the spell component cabinet on his desk. Taking the now giant key from his hat and muttering the secret words, he opened the bottom drawer. He rummaged around and found a small box from which he removed a single, sparkling, transparent pixie wing.

Sometimes having human sized tools was helpful, like when Yonah needed to powder a pixie wing that was smaller than his human sized index finger. It was his father’s old mortar and pestle, and it had been with him all through school. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it was more than functional.

He mixed the sparkling magical powder into the aloe and put that into another jar. An actually small jar, even for a human.

From behind him he heard Jack whimper. It would take at least a week for their skin to heal, and Yonah did not fancy having the human hang around his tower, regardless of how lonely he was. And he was confident that Jack would hate it too.

He jumped off the desk and returned to normal size and looked at Jack.

“Sorry about this,” he scooped Jack up and Jack barely held back more screams as the pain returned where Yonah’s skin brushed against theirs.

The human didn’t say anything as Yonah took them downstairs, back to the kitchen.

They protested being washed, as Yonah placed them in the sink and turned the faucet. Until the cool water washed away the drying goop and relieved the burning almost as well. The aloe had been sealing in the vile fluids and Jack was grateful to be rid of them.

Drying off sucked, the cloth a harsh touch even if the giant gently dabbed and did not rub.

To Jack’s delight the giant took out the jar of fresh aloe but was confused when he didn’t let them take any.

Instead the giant shrank down again and took out a smaller jar, this one also contained aloe, but it glittered. It was magical.

“This will help a bit more than just the pure aloe,” Yonah said, “It should take the pain away completely at the very least.”

Jack reached for it but the giant held it back. The giant opened the jar and with two fingers took a small amount of the goo.

“I can apply it myself!” Jack said, “I don’t want you touching me again!”

“Too bad,” Yonah took Jack’s wrist and Jack hissed as Yonah very carefully spread the small amount of sparkling aloe over their entire palm and in between the fingers.

The giant repeated the procedure with their other hand. Then their feet. Their joints. Their eyelids? All Jack knew was that so far it wasn’t any more effective than the regular stuff.

This used up all of the precious glitter goo and it dried before They were finally able to lather themselves back up in the not-sparkling stuff.

As Jack reapplied the aloe Yonah prepared a box full of folded fabric scraps as a makeshift bed. He was really tired, and Jack must be too. It had been a long night.

Yonah helped Jack into the box and took him to his room, setting the box gently on his nightstand. Jack was already asleep.

A few seconds later so was Yonah.

—–

Jack awoke and gasped. They were crusty with dry aloe, but mostly they noticed the pain. They still hurt all over.

Except.

They didn’t.

Not all over.

The flesh of their hands was still an angry red but it didn’t hurt, they could flex their fingers, they could grasp the sides of the box and lift themselves up. The skin in their elbows and knees didn’t flare up in distress as they bent their arms legs. The pressure on their feet as they took a few steps was completely absent! They blinked as light hit their eyes from an enchanted window. That didn’t hurt either.

Everywhere the special aloe had been applied, Jack realized. It had just taken all night to work it’s magic, but it worked.

They looked around the room. Wow. The giant hadn’t been kidding, he must have just moved in. All that was there was the nightstand and a bed.

An empty bed.

The giant was awake.

That’s when the smells hit Jack. Savory and amazing and their mouth watered. Then their gut tightened as they recalled the experience of being food not too long ago. Could they eat having just gone through that? Eat food that the giant must be preparing? As the scent of roasted meats in garlic wafted through the door they knew they absolutely could.

“Oh good! You’re awake!”

Yonah had just stepped in to check on Jack as he re-constituted some of the uneaten food from last night. Jack didn’t hesitate when he proffered his hand for the human to sit on. Grinning, Yonah took him to the kitchen, one floor down.

A pot was simmering on the stove, a gurgling kettle was full of coffee, and a pan was sizzling. Compared to last night the atmosphere was much friendlier.

The giant had even set up a human sized table for Jack on top of the giant one. Jack wished there had been enough magic aloe for their ass as they sat painfully on the chair. But they were able to ignore that pain with the distraction of food.

“I never thought of vegetable soup as a breakfast,” Jack said, breaking the awkward silence.

“Well, it was meant for last night, but I…” He didn’t want to explain his situation to Jack, they weren’t friends, in fact by any definition they were enemies.

“Ate me instead?” Jack said.

“Uh huh,” Yonah wasn’t going to correct them.

“So, the pixied aloe worked?” he asked.

It took Jack a moment to realize what Yonah meant. They twirled the spoon in their hand, “Yep!”

“Great!”

More silence. This time broken by Yonah.

“So what exactly did you steal?” he asked, and he retrieved the satchel from his hat, opening it on the table.

Small bags tumbled out.

“Spices,” said Jack, “You didn’t really have anything else worth stealing.”

“Well, this one’s from the dwarves of the Implausible Mountains, made of deep mushroom spores, that’s not exactly worth nothing.”

Jack nodded, “I know, I was hoping to sell it. But now… now I have nothing. Guess it’s back to begging until I can locate another possible treasure hoard. Ah the glamorous life of an adventurer.”

Yonah got up, his chair scraping the floor and Jack shivered. The giant looked at them, his expression dark.

Jack watched the giant retreat up the stairs, leaving them alone.

They could hear the giant arguing with someone upstairs; he must be using the mirror.

When he returned he was smiling wickedly and ran to the pantry. Opening it he removed a small chest that had not been there before. He took the chest over to the table. Without letting Jack see inside he examined the contents

“Yes, that’ll do,” he muttered, immensely pleased with himself.

“Everything alright?” Jack dared to ask.

“Yes of course,” he said, looking up, and shutting the box. Pinched between his fingers was a small pouch, about the size of those Jack had filled with spices.

He held it over Jack’s table and dropped it, it jingled with coinage as it hit the wood. Jack scooped it up with disbelief.

“You’re really bad at this Evil Giant thing you know that?” said Jack, as Yonah held out his hand to them one last time.

“I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

And he took Jack upstairs.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! please comment


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